Andy Rooney Opines

Andy Rooney's Opinion dated Saturday, March 15, 2003

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts for squirting out babies

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer.* You
can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to
ban you from driving to the ball game

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, That is why there
are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong it is not a phobia, it
is an opinion

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except
numbers

The only things I can think of that a re truly discriminatory are things
like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment
Television, and Miss Black America

Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud
Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see
what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70%
of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the law
of statistics

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I
received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a
private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes,
a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matte r of
fact, if you want to be an American citizen you should have to speak
English!

My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave
the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand
the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation
recount votes when needed.

I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans
or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket
store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives
in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could co me
over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to
their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television, and that
doesn't stop you from watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal
or conservative with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with
an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next
operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask
your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take
a parent to stand up to the kid and smack their little asses' when necessary and say "NO."

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
pretend they are a political statement. And Please stay home until that
new lip rin g heals, I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as
you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness" and of all the suck ups that go
along with it.

I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in
Africa, so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a
continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my
great, great,great,great, great, great grandfather was from Europe.

I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough!